cats

A Cat's Perspective: The Tree

So…I’m trying to figure out what the big deal is about this tree inside our house.  I’ve seen trees OUTSIDE.  Um, not that I get the RIGHT to go outside, but I’ve seen them through the window.  (It’s a rough life.  SIGH.)

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The Bionic Cat

Totally unbelievable.  There I was, minding my own business, when the dad came out of nowhere and swooped the annoying fuzzy yellow guy up into "the cage." The cage is so scary. Every single time I go in that prison cell, I end up going somewhere scary...somewhere where dogs are barking, other cats are peering out at me from their own prison cells, and then some lady in a white coat pokes and prods at me...and then sticks me with a needle.  So, when the dad came to get Butterscotch, I hid.  I hid enough that he couldn't get me, but I also wanted to see what was going on.

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A Tail's Tale

It's me again...Snickers...aka "the perfect cat."  Here I am, so perfect, and I have to deal with that stupid, fuzzy, yellow guy as my sole furry companion.  As his superior in intellect, it's difficult for me to even comprehend some of his choices.  The latest choice, which is entirely inconceivable to me, is his apparent decision to use his tail to gain attention.  ABSURD!

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Don't Toy with Me!

"No, Snickers: That's MINE."  I hear that all the time.  What does that even MEAN?  Doesn't everything in this house belong to ME, the SUPERIOR cat ANYWAY?  The people can say what they want, but when they are somewhere else, I am the one who rules this household.  Yeh, I'm talking about toys.  Apparently, most toys are for the kids, not for cats.  Oh, don't get me wrong:  I get the occasional "ball with a bell in it," catnip mouse, or feather on a stick.

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My Feathery Friend

That stupid yellow thing that lives here annoys me.  Honestly, I think that's his purpose:  to annoy me. WELL, he does a great job doing it!  So, every single time the mom goes to do what she calls "dust" (I'm still trying to understand what that is...and why she does it), the big furry yellow thing goes CRAZY, and I mean CRAZY.  He chases after her.  It's like some weird dance:  she bustles through the house with some feathers on a stick...moving, moving, quickly, quickly.

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That Other Cat

Yeh, well, I need to come clean here.  I keep mentioning the yellow thing that lives here, too.  Truthfully, and as much as I hate to admit this, he is a cat. (That was painful to admit.)  Unlike me, he does not appear to have too much intelligence. Me?  I'm calculating, cunning, and very clever.  So, let me tell you about the day my life got worse, the day this other cat came to stay.  My family went out in that big thing on four wheels that they have.

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Indoor Cat Outdoors

Well, the mom finally let me out...as if it isn't a right.  I'm what the people call "an indoor cat."  How absolutely humiliating.  We all know that cats are wild outdoor beasts.  Instead, I've been forced to live most of my existence simply watching the outdoors through a little window or a sliding glass door.  It's not a door for me; it's more of a prison gate.  Guess the mom finally felt bad and decided to take me outside.

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Something Fishy

I love my salmon.  Yet, sometimes the mom gets lazy. Yep, I said lazy.  She takes care of those KIDS before taking care of me.  I am supposed to get salmon for my lunch.  Sometimes she sits down and eats with the kids and forgets about me.  Ridiculous.  Then, one day she actually put something BESIDES salmon in my bowl.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  Salmon time, M-O-M...and nothin' else is gonna do.  The stupid '"orange/yellow/whatever he is" thing that lives with us chowed down.  I was angry.

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New Cat Toy

Ah, my people are so wonderful to me! They came home from Target the other day with the BEST toy…I mean THE BEST.  It’s a MASSIVE tunnel, and I just LOVE to climb through it.  At the end of it is a wonderful little house.  I believe the people called it “the tent”–whatever that means.  It’s so much fun to zoom through the tunnel…running, running, sliding…YEA!

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The Mouse Trap

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