Indoor Cat Outdoors

Well, the mom finally let me out...as if it isn't a right.  I'm what the people call "an indoor cat."  How absolutely humiliating.  We all know that cats are wild outdoor beasts.  Instead, I've been forced to live most of my existence simply watching the outdoors through a little window or a sliding glass door.  It's not a door for me; it's more of a prison gate.  Guess the mom finally felt bad and decided to take me outside. While I was excited at first, I was absolutely humiliated (the people are good at making me feel that way) when the mom showed me what she called "the harness."  Guess it's called that because it basically harnesses in my freedom.  We went outside...with all this harness business around my lean, mean tiger-machine body.  I just wanted to hide in a corner somewhere, but then I saw something move.  Of course, I had to jump and run after it--being a wild beast and all.  Just great:  the "harness" only allows me to go so far.  I jumped into the air...only to feel like I was being pulled BACKWARDS!!!  I could almost hear the insects and birds LAUGHING at me.  To make matters even worse, the mom talked to me in that "aw, you're so cute" voice (which is SO very annoying) and said, "Oh, come on, Snickers, we'll go for a walk."  A WALK???  Do you know what low class animal goes on walks?  Yeh, only one...and I am SO much better than THAT kind of drooling machine.  Unbelievable.  Only one thing to do...stick to the wall and hope no one sees me (or that I can sink into the wall and disappear).  Humiliating, I tell you.  So much to see, so much to do...hmmm...wonder when we'll go again...

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