A Cat's Perspective: The Tree

So…I’m trying to figure out what the big deal is about this tree inside our house.  I’ve seen trees OUTSIDE.  Um, not that I get the RIGHT to go outside, but I’ve seen them through the window.  (It’s a rough life.  SIGH.)

Anyway, it’s kind of cozy underneath the tree, but–AS USUAL–I was displaced…again.  I’ve been taking the BEST naps under there, but I guess the mom and dad thought that was wrong because they put a bunch of boxes under the tree. The WORST part about it is that the boxes are SHUT…SHUT I tell you.  That means I can’t even have the fun of jumping into the boxes.  (Oh, how I LOVE to jump into boxes!!!  LOVE it.)  So, now I can’t sleep under the tree anymore…and I can’t even jump into these stupid boxes. Who makes a box you can’t even jump into???  By the way, I DID try to get under the tree when those stupid boxes showed up, but the mom yelled at me and told me to stay away from “the presence.”  That sounds kind of scary to me…I KNEW there was something to that tree…

The WORST part about this whole thing has been the candy cane.  OOOOOO…the candy cane.  It just dangles there, moving every so slightly, encouraging every innate instinct within me to pounce,swat, or swing. For some reason, the mom shoos me away whenever I finally get to it and says, “OOOOOO, SNICKERS…get away from that. That’s gross. Gross kitty.”  What’s so gross about it?  It’s fun. Oh, the best part is CHEWING on it. AHHHHH!!! Oh…gotta have it. Gotta have it!!

The only consolation I have in this whole thing is that I MIGHT get some new toys.  I saw that the kids have some toys in these big ol’ socks hanging up.  AND…OH BOY, OH BOY…I saw a sock with MY name on it, too!!! Unfortunately, Butterscotch has a sock with his name on it, too.  Humph...all he deserves is a lump of coal.

I have two toy mice (OOOOH…my favorite!!).  I always rip them open like the savage beast that I am.  They’ve been hidden away for months, but I got both of them out, carried them up the steps, and plopped them near the tree. Maybe (oh, just maybe) Mrs. Riale will get the hint and realize that I need a NEW MOUSE.  I’m hoping so.